Sentiments

of course i can persuade other people, make them believe of what i use to see
however, illusion is  a two way road, i can either lie or be real with what it is to me,
i am rest assured of my transparency within myself,but the assurance that the people around me would see me the way i see myself would not be so ideal, i am goofy i can tell i can be even touchy with my  sentiments but i guess its hard to understand what my words meant for those who take my words carefully…
i knew who among my friends knows that what i say meant something when sometimes i mean nothing.
imagine i stride to hear both sides without bragging them to tell it, they open up to me both sides without even asking, though it was an advantage somehow
it can also mean me disadvantage, why?
First, it gives you a hard time to ponder to which side to be on, none the less it would leave you no choice but to be neutral and be safe from any allegations. Second, with whatever you have in mind you became involve too.
Third, you’re privacy is dig out, or if not you are provoke to talk only to end up ruining what you could have save. Lastly, knowing both sides of the story can mean broken relationship regarding the kind of relationship you’ve got.
However i could no longer blame myself to get out of it since i became involve in a certain way the rest that i could do is to protect the confidentiality of what i know about, i assummed to much respect for those involved to leave matters to me but at a point i met some person eager to dig out, which only means me tighter patience and shut mouth.
The rest i could tell about that case is that it ended up to mess another mind which should have been ok, later i expect everything would be more complicated than what is it before, until i resigned this case i’ll be discliaimg anything i know about it, not just as for profesionalism but for saving a deffered friendshhip atleast.
in case that i would no longer be able to protect a secret i would never show up, but before i destroy myself from the promise i made to both side please bear that i tried my best to save everybody in the plot, it was so hard that i keep holding tight when everybody wants freedom.

she is someone who opposes, someone irrational they say
often times i wanted to get rid of that side she has, then one day i saw myself
damn cold out of what emotion i kept, i don’t wanna be lying to myself being ok when it was not
then she is covered with popularity i don’t have, simple things meant her big thing
while it could be just be so simple,
i almost lost everything i gained from building myself when one day God put me and my beau to test of
surviving past emotions, thou i was not suppose to be affected by it, it affects me differently maybe it is because she hurt him tpo bad, thou it seems too complicated i survived pain,
now i feel complete and real with myself, she i suppose is losing something she could have saved
she was great with logic but in sentiments i don’t know.
the next thing i figure out is when she said i happen to affect her life, she happen to build mine, i am getting too tired building her to be so sensitive, but i guess sensitivity is like love which cannot be taught, only learned when it is already gone.

+another sentiments coming out, watch out!

i have a friend she was diagnosed being anemic from the creed of her harsh world
i think she was parted somehow but her confusion is not anything into my life, coz from my analysis she makes things too big out of simple thought, i see she losses everyhting on hand and still hasn’t seen it, what if i leave? she’s affected that way so why would else i be affected of what she feels just because pity is to her side, i sound vain i know but i saw faces of the people coming to me bleeding of what she does unknown to her own will, i admit i am responsible for giving her torture, but if i didn’t would she see other else, she seeks someone’s view but she hasn’t ask me if she forced me to tell something…
i shouldn’t be telling. Later this day i realized one thing
>>
IF SHE GETS OTHERS VIEW IT TURNS TO BE HER SIDE OF OPINION THE NEXT DAY, ALL EFFORTS “WE” TRIED TO SHOW WOULD MEAN NOTHING ANYMORE.
<<

well i seem not to care about it anymore since i was tired of making lines for this friend, according to her i changed yes and i know that and i accept changed. i was consolidated with other of my guy friends that makes more secure that what i am now is much more acceptable that what i tried to disregard before.

Critiscm is welcome but i guess if you were to criticize try to get into both sides without forcing, i hope she changed not for the way she wouln’t like one day.

What she is to me would be stated in my next blog… see yah!